Your partner is in the mood for steamy sex every day, your optimal schedule is closer to once a week. Should I make myself want to have sex as frequently as my partner?
It is very common in relationships that the wants don’t match between the partners. We’ll share some best practices on how to improve the situation.
HERE ARE FIVE ESSENTIAL TIPS AND TRICKS ON HOW TO TACKLE SEX DRIVE MISMATCH
COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER OPENLY
Sounds simple, we all know that in any relationship communication is key. We tend to set a lot of expectations on our partners, but our partners are not mind readers.
By communicating openly, you can both understand each others’ point of views better without feeling hurt by the other person possibly rejecting you. Try to come up with a frequency that suits both of you.
MASTURBATE AND GET TO KNOW YOURSELF
Have you ever had sex even when you were not really in the mood and afterwards felt like you want to have sex soon again? So have we. The more you have sex (either with yourself or a partner), the easier it might be to get in the mood.
As suggested by Megan Fleming, sex and relationship therapist, masturbating can actually help you maintain a healthy sex drive. It can also help you to know yourself better in order to be able to communicate your needs and wants to your partner. You can also seek to improve your sex life through self-compassion.
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TRY SOMETHING NEW IN SEX FOR A CHANGE
Especially in long relationships, it’s easy to fall to old patterns when it comes to having sex. Is it always the one person that initiates sex in the same way and the act itself follows a similar pattern?
Try changing this by agreeing on the other person initiating sex or agreeing on rules on how you would like the act to take place. Maybe try out a different location or different time of the day?
STRIVE TO FIND AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH YOUR PARTNER
This applies often for women in particular – the need to feel emotionally safe and connected with our partners before feeling like we are ready to jump between the sheets. When you are feeling emotionally connected to your partner, you might feel that it is easier for you to get aroused.
Emotional connection or bonding with your partner can be reinforced by telling your partner how you feel and what you like in bed, too. If you don’t like slapping but enjoy kisses in your neck, let your partner know. Feeling appreciated and valued matters.
SPEND AFFECTIONATE TIME TOGETHER WITHOUT THINKING SEX IS EVIDENT
As important as emotional connection, it is relevant to spend affectionate time together without sexual innuendo. Have you noticed that when you spend time with your partner touching each other, it strengthens the bond between the two of you?
Set up time that you spend together but agree on not to have sex to take away the pressure of needing to have sex every time you are physically close to each other. Hug, kiss and care for one another. Sex is, ultimately, much more than just intercourse.
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